oh god.

i just turned down a free (this) weekend bintan trip offer by my producer. the funny thing is, when i told her i'll be busy, she said, 'so?'. that's just so her. then she said, you're filming chickens right aren't you. there's chickens in bintan. you simply can't not love her.

danny said i'm stupid and that i should go. that i'll feel a lot better after that.

but then, i know that if i go, i'll just feel awful.

anyway, i can't seem to breathe properly nowadays and i actually even feel kinda light-headed today. it's either another long overdue panick attack or stress from getting so little things done.

i need to get A LOT of things moving man. and quick.

to end off on a happier note, i lost more kgs today! yeah.